Verity
Living in a world full of prejudice, anger and fear
We live in a time of disruptive change. Our earth and her resources need to regain our respect. Scary world-leaders gain a lot of power. Why is fear such an attractive glue for a lot of people? Worries could turn us into a depressed cynical human being. But we don’t want that, do we? So how do we cultivate a positive attitude in the face of prejudice, anger and fear?
Interestingly enough in the 2nd Talent interview I meet a woman whose talent invites us to reflect on this. Her life-story and insights raise three reflective questions, which help create your anchor in this sometimes-unstable world. Because, as Verity mentions several times in the interview: “What would happen if people were primarily moved by things they knew with the utmost certainty? I think it would naturally lead to a better society. ” So, to start with ourselves: What would happen if you were primarily moved by things you know with the utmost certainty?
Well…what would happen?
Looking at the world through a certain lens
She is an award-winning undergraduate in Physics and Mathematics and a lead singer in a punk band. We meet in a coffee place near her house. Her dark-red mohawk matches her black outfit. We shake hands and start talking. Initially we are both shy, but that changes every minute. When asked how she labels her (deep) talent, she immediately responds with certainty: ‘Observation’.
She explains: “In some way, both music and physics, for me, involve looking at the world through a certain lens. One that strips away as many assumptions as possible to leave behind something that is as close to the truth as we can get.” Once again I am amazed how someone can describe her talent in such detail.
Keep asking ‘why?’ and some fundamental truth starts to come forward
Already at a very early age she was interested in the implications of physical elements like ‘time.’ She recalls having long philosophical discussions late into the night with her friends on AOL Instant Messenger when she was thirteen years old. “If you look at anything and ask ‘why’ about 5 times, some fundamental truths start to come forward.” This penchant for questioning things, an important element of her talent, seems to feed not only her interest in the physical world and her alignment with punk rock, but also her view of her own life and society.
She starts speaking about physics and what’s so attractive to her. It’s the facts. Finding real truth, no interpretations, or at least the least amount of interpretations. “I guess a lot of people are moved by faith. But I guess I am moved by things you can have the utmost certainty of.” Absolute certainty is not possible in the world, or even in physics, she explains. “We cannot have absolute certainty the sun will rise in the morning, but we have the utmost certainty that it will. It’s about finding out what you would absolutely hang your hat on - about what you can always count on the most.”
In a world full of complex challenges we better surround ourselves with a few things we are most certain of, instead of letting fear of uncertainty take over. This insight remembers me of a very simple question, asked during a training more than 10 years ago: ‘If everything else would disappear, who are you?’
After a solo-walk for more than 6 hours in a rainy forest, each of us came back with strong anchors. We found personal truths, which nobody or nothing around us could mess with. Still powerful to this day.
Q 1: So you can ask yourself - What is it that I am most certain of?
Become disappointed or take action?
We sip our drinks and after a moment of silence, Verity tells me more about her unpredictable childhood. Maybe the uncertainty she experienced in her early years drew her towards surrounding herself with undeniable facts in physics?
If life circumstances don’t give you what you deserve, you can do two things: Become angry and disappointed with the world or decide to take action. Verity was able to take action despite growing up in an incomprehensible foster situation, where providers didn’t take any responsibility. She was able to take action with the simple social support of public programs that finally provided her a stable place to live when she was twenty-two.
I think she was also able to take action because she seems to have an enormous drive whirling up inside her. Acknowledging her fascination for writing, philosophy and physics, she managed to re-enter school in her early twenties and was able to transform her life into the life she wanted to be living. “I have always been interested in science, since I was a child,” she tells me. “I actually am sort of glad I dropped out of college the first time, though, since I thought I wanted to be a writer.” She laughed. “Now I feel differently.” Somehow she found the courage to be who she really is and to express what she stands for. I get goose bumps, when she tells me she chose her own name when she was 23. “I always thought it was silly to have a name that’s chosen by other people right when you’re born, because they don’t know who you are at that point.” She didn’t choose just some name she liked. She chose a name that exactly explains her deep talent. Her name is Verity. It means fundamental truth.
Isn't it amazing how we all know our true talent deep down? I think it’s even more amazing how Verity honoured her gift by giving herself this name.
Q2: Verity was and still is driven by fundamental truth. What drives you? And what would be your name?
It takes courage to express your talent
Observing or analysing fundamental truth in society or physics is step one, but expressing it in the outside world is step two. It’s another cup of tea. Then you have to decide not to be lead by your fears or your insecurities. Luckily Verity has found an outlet. She expresses her truth in lyrics she writes for her punk band. “Performing on stage is extremely vulnerable. It is terrifying to be so honest in such a public arena. Some songs that I write, I think, ‘how will I ever be able to sing this on stage?’" When you use your true talent, you give directly from your heart. It’s so aligned with who you are, which makes it incredibly scary. It takes courage to open up your heart.
Some deep talents, like the one of Verity’s, seem especially challenging in our society. We don’t want to be confronted with the unbearable truth. It is not always convenient and since convenience is rooted in our western society, we tend to look away from the underlying reality. We try to numb ourselves in various ways. Verity tells about how she couldn’t handle painful truths growing up as a teenager herself and how she ended up numbing them with drugs. “At a young age I was exposed to a lot of truths about how people treat each other. Interpersonal violence, poverty, sexism, and racism.” She tells me that this is the story for most people who grow up in severe poverty. “This led to a sort of depression that caused me to hitchhike around the country and be homeless after high school. But there is value in truth, even if it is painful. If we cannot see the problems of society, we cannot fix them.”
Her way of being invites others to look further into reality than what’s apparent at first hand, and she thinks it can make the world a better place. If we don’t want to face the reality, we numb ourselves. Maybe not all with drugs, but ‘buying stuff to feel better’, ‘trying diets over and over’, ‘drinking ‘a little too much’’ or ‘working too hard’ are also subtle ways to numb the inconvenient reality. Luckily we have a person like Verity who presents us a mirror. She teaches us to look at the real facts and be truthful to ourselves. It might not always be what we want to hear, but like Sufi poet Jalaluddin Rumi wrote in the 13th century:
Loves comes with a knife,
instead of some shy question,
and not with fears for its reputation.
Well…let Verity inspire you to be honest with yourself. Why don’t we look further than might be convenient and find more truthful ones? This wonderful person is spending her life in search of the truth and invites us to do the same.
Q3: what would happen if you allow more space to your drive?
What effect would that have on your life, your work and the people around you? I am sure it will create a lot of positivity!
Take a moment to be honest with yourself. Because in the end it’s hard to oversee who you really are.
This interview is part of a relay of talent interviews. The previous interview with Michael Linsmeier lead to my meeting with Verity.